How Hayley Williams Captured the Beauty of Vulnerability
With her second solo album 'FLOWERS for VASES / descansos' Hayley Williams showed everyone another glimpse of her personal journey.
Opening yourself up to others is one of the hardest things anyone can do. Doing it artistically is a whole different animal that we can only hope to tame. Putting yourself out for the world to see in high definition and clear surround sound is as terrifying as standing atop Mount Everest with no harness. This mountain, however, takes emotional courage to conquer. Hayley Williams of Paramore not only put herself out for the world to see in this album but created something beautiful in the process.
After her first solo venture without her bandmates in 2020’s ‘Petals for Armor,’ it seemed like it would take some time before we’d see something else from Hayley. But 2020 was a time of self-reflection for so many, and it wouldn’t be any different for one of the most reflective artists of our time. While ‘Petals for Armor’ was about Hayley taking control of her life, ‘Vases’ is seemingly the story (or stories) in between about the difficulty and struggle to gain ahold of that control. Hayley describes it herself as a “detour” or “prequel” to ‘Petals.’ ‘Vases’ feels like the lost messages softly spoken through the tin can telephone described on ‘Why We Ever.’
The album doesn’t mess around as it starts with ‘First Thing To Go,’ telling you to get ready for an emotional tidal wave ready to consume you and set you adrift. Hayley waste no time as she opens the door for everyone to take a glimpse into the inner sanctum of her heart. The song speaks of the difficulty of trying to forget someone that’s left you. All while realizing it’s not that easy to let go as you cling to the lost memories you keep in your head. Taking off the glasses of rose-colored nostalgia that blur the past's visions is never as easy as we think it’ll be. And Hayley captures that feeling so beautifully. Her voice, along with the strong acoustic guitar, captures the hollowed-out feelings of those memories that may never come back. It sets you up for the ethereal array of emotions of the rest of the album.
‘My Limb’ adds to that array as it describes not wanting to entirely rip off an emotional and mental band-aid of letting go of someone, even though you know it’s for your own good. “The limb” is no longer working, but you’d still rather feel the pain of bleeding out than fully letting go. Hayley’s haunting tone and stirring lyrics about stepping over dead leaves and shy little rabbits teething on shotguns set a wonderfully dark atmosphere. The song's driving tempo exemplifies a sense of urgency, almost as if it were a dying patient's heart monitor. This perfectly segues into the next song, ‘Asystole’ that gets its name from the medical term of a patient flatlining. The patient in the song being a dying love between 2 people. Both Hayley and producer Daniel James excel in capturing the desperation and dread of a dying relationship. I adore the wonderful way the instrumental picks up and comes forward as Hayley sings, “revive your love in me.” Towards the end, when you think the song is “dead,” it comes back to life as the piano-driven outro acts as the heart monitor to this fallen love. The beauty in those sorts of moments really makes a song stand out from the pack.
Those gut punches to your emotions don’t slow down as it goes into one of my favorites on this project with “Trigger.” The way Hayley makes you feel those heartwrenching words of not having control over a toxic relationship. A line like “so what do people sing about once they finally found it? Take it for granted, think of how they were better without it” rips your heart out and makes you rethink what you thought true love was. The yearning of wanting to take control heard in Hayley’s vocals is so genuine that it takes the song to another level. Not to be outdone, ‘Over Those Hills’ features one of the best guitar showings I’ve heard so far in 2021. The way the song grabs that feeling of wondering how someone you once knew is doing now without you. The line “thought I had enough, but the hurt is half the fun” leads to a killer bridge and guitar solo that feels like a lost sunset being looked upon by a lone wanderer. The song is reminiscent of a Jason Isbell song while remaining as fresh as anything you’ll hear this year.
Hayley has opened the door a little more into her sanctuary of inner struggles, dreams, and lingering questions at this point of the album. ‘Good Grief’ and ‘Wait On’ continue to nudge that door like a shy child peaking to see if it’s safe to come in. The latter's strumming patterns add to the sense of having to be there even when mentally you’re somewhere else entirely. It’s a gorgeous song that never lets a string or piano key go to waste. Every note hits just where it’s supposed to. The whole album is very succinct in this way, having only 3 songs go over the 3.5-minute mark. ‘KYRH’ may only be 2.5 minutes long and have a few lines, but it doesn’t stop it from being one of the album’s best. Hayley’s vocal range isn’t talked about enough amongst the singers of today. She comes through on so many of the tracks in varying ways. In ‘KYRH,’ her voice acts like a heavy blanket that is being placed on your anxious eardrums by a gorgeous Jonny Greenwood-like piano arrangement.
When an artist can emote so much through so little words like that while not making it seem so heavy-handed, they’re doing something right. Going into ‘Inordinary,’ which starts as seemingly a simple acoustic track about Hayley's trials as a young music star. Trials that have been in the public eye for all to see and for some fans to connect to. The song ends as her voice gets distorted by added layers of instrumentation, becoming disjointed in a way that resembles the “inordinary-ness” of her life. Hayley did most of the album herself and makes every moment of the album become a flower for whoever is listening. Wishing that the listener can take from it and plant their own story to grow in the garden of their life. Maybe the “beauty to be found” can be these connections she makes?
On a more light-hearted note, I have to say I love the timing of the beginning of ‘HYD’ as she starts singing about the “air being quiet,” and a plane flies over her, leading to a frustrated “are you fucking kidding me?” In a way, it adds to the song’s frustration of wanting to know how someone you care for so much is doing without you. Something like that really adds character to an album that might otherwise be left on the cutting room floor. Never does it take away from the song’s overall vibe. Hayley effortlessly captures and conveys these emotional trials she’s gone through in her life. Such so that the listener can latch right on and empathize with her every step of the way. If you can’t listen to ‘No Use, I Just Do” and not feel that absolute gut-wrenching feeling of hopeless romanticism, you need to get your soul checked. The way her voice sounds contorted near the end of the song feels as if the hopeless love is wearing her down. Hayley’s laying her soul out on this album, one piano key at a time.
Hayley’s unapologetic vulnerability throughout the album is so admirable. Being as open as she is on this track is terrifying for most people, but listening to it helped me understand that being open doesn’t have to be that scary. In a way, ‘Find Me Here’ feels like Hayley telling the listener that she’s comfortable in this open space she’s created. The continued guitar that we’ve heard throughout feels more and more inviting to those who’ve made it this far still with doubts about finally stepping foot inside. She’s now come to the door and let you know it’s safe.
‘Descansos’ acts as the lone interlude of pure haunting ambiance. A song that gets its name from memorials placed on roads for people who have perished. In the background, you can hear old footage of Hayley’s childhood, almost as if those days of innocence are dead and gone. Having to move past the time where you thought life would be so different. Listening to it takes you away into that headspace, and somehow, you connect to a song that doesn’t even have lyrics in it. That’s just how well Hayley seemed to have nailed every ounce of this project. ‘Just a Lover’ is a tour de force of majestic, cathartic, and emotional release. Acting as the closing piece, it demonstrates every facet that the album carried throughout. The vocal cadences she goes through fit perfectly with the song’s structure—the intro's softness, the calming but lively ways of the first verse. Not to be outdone, the final verse gives you a punch of simmering anger and frustration traveling through Hayley. “Screaming into empty glasses” hits so much harder as she’s belting out in the backing vocals to her heart’s content.
It’s the best way she could have ended the album —with one last showcase of that strength in vulnerability that never got lost throughout the album. The strength she exemplified that she wasn’t afraid to shed a layer of herself for all to see. Never letting up as her words cut deeper than any sword could ever do. I had to sit with this album for a while because it was so much to take in. The album isn’t built for an instant reaction; I had to let it simmer due to the subject matter and how heavy it can really be. I’m glad I gave it the time I did because I really started listening and realizing just how powerful it is in its subtlety. Hayley created an album that so many people will connect to because of how open she is throughout it all. Inviting you to empathize with her while sharing her journey of self-discovery. She let the listener know the journey might be scary, but you don’t have to go it alone. She made emotional availability seem less terrifying for someone, even just for a moment. Thank you, Hayley.